goals: 2023

I have never been a “goals” person. Ever since I moved out of my parents’ house five years ago, I have been on autopilot, flying with the radar and sensor off. Shit, I might have been flying with the doors off, too.

Between full time school, full time work, and all of the other obligations that life threw my way I found every possible excuse to avoid structure. I couldn’t commit to change, because I was too buried in being busy, and stressed.

There is so much to process still, about my family’s dysfunction, how it affected me, about what I went through. 2022 taught me that this processing is necessary, and that I have been running from it.

It also taught me that I have a lot to work on.

Something I have always been a fan of is lists: I make multiple to do lists a day and savor being able to check items off as they are complete. Some days I accomplish more than others, and some days finding the motivation to do simple things like brushing my teeth feels like running a marathon.

But a list seemed to be a good place to start with my goals.

I made this template that breaks down eight areas of my life that I wanted to improve. Feel free to print and fill it out yourself, if it serves you.

Here’s mine:

**I opted to blur out the name of my company, under the occupational section, for obvious reasons.

A few things that I will be focusing on are:

Regular workout/yoga practice. This is especially important as I want to incorporate a better long term strategy to care for myself. Something I struggle with is replacing the care I should have gotten from a parent, and should still get from a parents. 2022 has delivered to me the epiphany that I have to take care of myself, because no one else is going to do it.

Setting boundaries and investing in relationships with an ROI. This is imperative to my mental health in the coming year. I have tried desperately to build meaningful relationships with my in laws over the last five years that I have been committed to Liam. 2022 finally allowed me to see things for what they were, and revealed to me that I am allowing them to hurt us repeatedly by not enforcing better boundaries. The same could be said for some friendships. This is the bullshit I leave behind in 2023.

I also am attempting to choose my word for 2023. Some options include…

Nourishment

Peace

Protection

Discipline

Boundaries

ROI

Choice

Cleanse

Surround

Appreciate

To be perfectly honest, this is a difficult time of the year for me. Winter encapsulates the holidays, which can offer more hurt than joy when you’re healing from abuse, and some significant birthdays in my life — lost loved ones mostly. It is dark, and grey, and I find myself feeling a heaviness that slows me down a lot.

I have also been sick with every bug going around the country for the past month, which sucks ass.

If you find it challenging to feel motivated to do better, know that you are certainly not alone. We are all going through tough times right now, for many reasons. All that you can do is choose. Choose to put one foot in front of the other each day. Choose to make small decisions that lend themselves to your goals. For me, choosing to get out of bed is the catalyst for sticking to some of my goals - like going to the gym. Choosing to say no to family requests is another.

Because at the end of the day, its the small choices that add up to the biggest milestones.